Top Five

This is like a "Top 10" list, but there are only 5 - because it's been that kind of day, and I'm not too creative tonight.

Top 5 Reasons I HATE DEER:

5. Deer always seem to think that they are the superior animal - they eat whatever they want, go wherever they want, stand wherever they want......

4. When faced with a terrifying situation - THEY JUST STAND THERE!! Hence the phrase "Deer in the headlights look."

3. Other people think that "They're so cute!" I just don't get it. What's cute about a nasty animal with buggy eyes that has these little stick legs? Babies are cute. Shoes are cute. Hairstyles are cute. Stuffed animals are cute. Deer are not.

2. Who would want to sit in a FREEZING tree-blind all day for the chance to take a shot at something that you can buy at the store? Buying a permit, a gun, the camo, setting up the blind, not talking or breathing all day....again, I don't get it. Just hit one with a car.

Wait! That brings me to #1!!

The #1 reason I HATE DEER:

Yep...on the way to work this morning. I was rounding one of the final curves, on a gravel road, about to enter the town of Sargent (where I work), an oncoming pickup (with his BRIGHTS on) had just passed me and I was going about 30 mph - when this DEER ran out from behind where the pickup had been. There was nothing that I could do. He hit the front fender, then spun around and hit the door, and then spun again and hit the back fender where the gas tank is. I stopped and got out to look at the car, but it was 7:20 AM and still very dark outside, so I couldn't see much. I got back in the car and began to drive to school. Luckily, the tires are okay, so I don't have to worry about a flat or turning or anything. And there's no damage to anything under the hood - - and I am fine.

The real kicker, though - - I get to school and tell a couple of people that I had hit a deer that morning, and their FIRST question was, "Was it a buck or a doe? How many points did it have?"

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?? I was worried about keeping my car on the road and not waking up the sleeping babies in Africa from my scream when I hit the blasted thing. Yes, it ran away - - only to taunt me tomorrow as I drive that same stretch. I'm ready to have someone ride with a rifle out of the sunroof. I know it's illegal, but at least I won't hit any more deer. I'll just have to swerve around the dead carcass in the road. But at least it won't be moving - I'll try my NASCAR skills - - (Kidding...)

Maybe God's just telling me not to drive in January.....last January is when I hit my first deer. This is a trend I'd LOVE to break.......

OK - enough about this....Andy's already hollering at me about "changing this nice family Blog into rants about wildlife...." He thinks that tomorrow I'll be commenting on "The Top 5 Reasons the California Condor should just go away..." Probably not - unless one decides to take a nosedive into my windshield...but we'll all pray that doesn't happen.